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I like to suffer
I like someone's hatred
Pain and suffering never leave me alone
Sorry and misery are my friends
Everyday a new problem arises
This sea of troubles never subsides
Cloud of dust hovers around
But my soul is still abound

My life is
as dry as dust
And is as arid as a desert
Like a cactus in a desert are long rooted
Pang and grief in me are deep rooted
Like aquarium without fishes
My life is without happiness
And is as empty as space

Life with discomfort and emptiness
Give me numbness and distress
I can feel neither sensation
Nor respiration, nor pulsation
I am neither diseased
Nor ceased, nor frigid
I am unable to remember
When I start dying while living

“ I Love You”

You came into my life
Quietly, simply, placidly
And my world stood still.

I couldn’t express in words
Or even in simple gestures
The secret I kept in my heart.

So I loved you in silence
Admired you from a distance
Dreamt of you from far away.

I wanted to say I love you
I wanted to say I care for you
But cowardly, may be you laugh
So, in silence I loved you and cared for.

You were so full of life
Always smiling and carefree
Life loved you being a part of it
And I loved you being a part of me
I will be missing you.

Rushing to my head
When I am sitting alone on my bed
And the memories come
Oh! How much I missed your smile
That smile that could brighten anyone's day especially mine.

If you only knew how much my heart longs for you
To hold you in my arms
And to feel your warmth
To gaze into your eyes
And be lost in your love..

But when I open my eyes
You are nowhere in sight
Please come back to me
And fill this void inside me
Because my life means nothing without you..

“ Long Wait”

Long and long has been waiting
Standing under the same sun for ages
Hope you come one day
And bring back the life in me.

Air, water, fire all I faced
Blessed with the shield of your memories
These gleaming eyes look at the same path
To see you sparkle again in the twilight.

Time is running fast like a magic
Bringing you closer to me with every beat
These stranded ears search the same sound
To hear your jingle in the wilderness.

Just then everything comes to a standstill
And I hear the arrival of your footsteps
These playful nostrils sniff the bland air
To smell your sweet fragrance.

A gush of air blows across me
Bewaring me of your presence in solitude
These heartfelt hands rumble around in emptiness
To feel the touch of your soft skin

The birds chirp and fly high around me
As though you, swinging in my arms
These velvety lips tremble on their destination
To kiss the glory of love in you.

The surrounding filled with throb of my heart
Life rejuvenating again, God's grace
You came closer to me, so very close
To merge your soul into mine.....

Till memory lasts and life departs
You'll remain forever in my heart!!!

By :- Surendra Upadhaya

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