fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night goes to his mother with the
"Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"
The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this
show the town that your bridge is pure."
The son thanks his mom and goes off to double-check
this with his father. "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?"
The father looks at his son in surprise and says,
"Son, all household appliances come in white."
at their 60th anniversary was asked the secret of their marriage. Husband:
When V were married V agreed. I would make all the major decision and my
wife the minor ones; & in 60 years of marriage V have never needed 2 make a
A way to
husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just little pebble on a
The marriage councelor, trying to be creative, told
him, "if you wish to save your marriage, you'd better be a little boulder."
fell in love with a college girl but did not know how to propose marriage to
her. After much thinking he asked, "Sujata, would you like to be the mother
of my children?"
Sujata replied, "Why not? How many have you?"
man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and
drink beer all day!
wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lip
stik on his collar.
"I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good
reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o clock in the morning?"
"There is, " he replied, "Breakfast."
into a fight
couple were not talking to each other because of a heated argument they had
a few days earlier. Instead, they were communicating by writing notes.
One evening he gave her a paper where it said,
"wake me up tomorrow morning at
6 am for
I have to catch a flight."
The next morning when he woke up, he saw that the
time was 9 o' clock.
Furious he turned to his wife, who handed him a
note which said, "wake up, it's 6 o' clock
recent interview in Newsweek magazine, actor Tom Arnold was asked, "Do you
worry that you'll always be knows as Roseanne's ex-husband?"
He replied, "Yeah, I do. But it's sure better than
being known as her current husband."
to Layer for help.
Man: What is your least expensive fee?
Layer: $50 for three questions.
Man: That's pretty expensive, isn't it?
Lawyer: Yes. So what's your third question?
Professor arrived late for a lecture to find a most uncomplimentary drawing
of himself on the blackboard.
Fuming, he asked the class joker in the from row,
"who, pray, was responsible for this atrocity?"
The joker won tremendous prestige with his reply,
"I really don't know, but I strongly suspect its parents."
was hauled into court. "Mister," the judge began, "You've been brought here
"Great," the drunk exclaimed. "When do we get
was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge
asked him, if he had anything to say in his defence.
"They should not put up such misleading notices,"
said Sky Singh.
"It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE."
Where were you late?
Student: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
Teacher: You mean you need to sleep at home too.
Darling, you hate all my relatives.
Husband: "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact,
I love your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?
What do you call an honest layer?
Answer: An oxymoron.
What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand?
Answer: Not enough sand.
and a politician
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Answer: Chelsea Clinton.
do the men in a singles bar have in common?
A: They're all married.