How To Make Your Asian Girlfriend Eternally Happy?

Be RICH. This is important for you, but not for her. For her the number two rule follows.

Spend MONEY on HER. This is the most important thing for her, whether you are rich, have any money, or must lie, steal, or kill to do it.

Be TALL. Of course you have no real control over this, but if you don't do it, she will secretly and forever resent you for it and it will come out of left field to smite you.

Preferably be about one foot taller than her - not for comfort or aesthetics, but because you are a trophy and, as always, the bigger the better.

Be a MINDLESS ZOMBIE RULED BY HER. Forget what you've heard about submissive Asian women. They actually rule every relationship with insidious and painful, passive-aggressive, guilt-evoking, whiny, crying mind-control.

Have the EMOTIONAL STABILITY OF A 4-YEAR-OLD. She will be impressed and enraptured by your delight at the sight of Hello Kitty, stuffed animals, puppies, kitties, duckies, bunnies, as well as chocolates, shiny jewelry and other trinkets and knick-knacks. Also, she will understand perfectly well if you pout over the smallest perceived slight or slip and demand to be appeased, assuaged, or made up to. If you behave any other way, she will never understand it.

Dress like a PRETTY-BOY GEEK. This will save her the trouble of replacing your wardrobe and dressing you, herself.

Remove EVERY HAIR ON YOUR BODY EXCEPT THOSE ON YOUR SCALP. The sight of a whisker on your face reminds her that somewhere inside you, something is trying to grow. You must not grow - you must be as unchanging and constant as the firmament.

There are NO MORE RULES to making your Asian girlfriend eternally happy. If any situation arises which you feel the rules have not addressed, you are mistaken - immediately refer to the primary rules #1 and #2 - they are the solution in every such case.

Photograph back
The Vietnamese soldier serving in Cambodia, far from home, was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.

He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying:

"Regret -- cannot remember which one is you. Please keep your photo and return the others"
Lost shoes in Pashupati!
There was a religious man. He used to go at least once to Pashupati. But, he was tired of loosing shoes there. Everytime he went there, he lost his pair of shoes.
Once he got a very good idea to prevent his shoes. He writes a small note in a piece of paper "I am the top Boxer, so please do not attempt to steal my shoes" and leaves with his shoes outside pashupati.

When he comes back after finishing POOJA, he couldn't find shoes on that place where he left his shoes. He instead finds a small note on piece of paper saying "I am the top marathon runner, so please do not attempt to catch me.

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